The pictures.

What do you call it!?

Off to see a film!? The pictures!? The cinema!?

A while back we went to the Cinema.

We go to a pretty decent cinema, not our nearest one, but we mainly go as this one is decent, and you also have less of a chance of bumping into anyone you know ……cuts out the awkwardness.

So my main gripe is noise in the cinema.

Magoo is a star.

He will sit still for over 2 hours, if the film is even that long. He eats his sweets nice and quietly, doesn’t make rustling sounds.

The only noise that comes out of him, is that beautiful, joyess sound of a child, hysterically pissing themselves with laughter…..and maybe a quiet sob if the film is sad.


Why oh why do they sell popcorn to be consumed in such a small place.

For fucks sake!

Now I like popcorn.

You know, the red bags of butterkist type, the one with the sugar, caramel stuff on it.

What I hate is the day old smell of cinema popcorn that is way to sweet, false and sickening.

On our recent trip, we went to see a kids film, a matinee.

You expect lots of kids and noise.

I get that, I can cope with that.

Well, on our visit, it was a Saturday morning about 11am.

The super Saturday saver screening.

This wasn’t done on purpose, it was the film we all wanted to go and see, and it happened to be on early.

Now, we got there, sat at the back, as normal, as that’s what Magoo likes.

One lady sat in the middle of the front row, all by herself.

We then had a family of four sit a few rows infront and to the side of us.

All with fucking 5 litre buckets of the sickly, fake smelling demon food.

Ok …this was fine.

Then disaster……

A fucking group of boys, maybe 10-11 years of age, maybe 12 in number, rock up….sit in the middle row, and take up the entire row.

Supervised by one, I repeat one lone male, who sat behind.

Now, each of these 12 or so boys, each had what looked like a horse nose feeding bag, full of fucking popcorn.

On cue, it started!

The noise was like a fucking German bombing run over 1940’s London, during the blitz.

Oh my good Christ…….

Do people no longer teach their kids to eat properly?

You know, with their own mouths closed!?

Let’s just say, the film way fucking awesome!

The noise and smell was not.

People, think before you buy a hot air sized bag of popcorn, maybe you should buy something smaller, or even sneak your own food in like normal people do.

Also, look at your kids the night before they are saying they are going to the cinema the next day.

Do they eat like they belong in a zoo?!

If they do, maybe recommend they don’t buy popcorn tomorrow at the cinema, as it may save a 40 year olds blood pressure going through the roof.

Little shits!

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