So today is actually Thursday. The last day of the shortest month, not like yesterday, when I was adamant for over an hour, that the day was Thursday, when in fact it was Wednesday.
I had the world’s most shittiest sleep last night.
I fell asleep pretty quick after watching TV on the iPad, but then woke about 2.30am, all refreshed like I’d had 8 hours sleep, when in fact, I’d had about 3 ish!
While in a semi awake state, I heard a noise, that to me sounded like glasses being clinked together, and my overly tired man mind sprung into action.
I was out of the bed with hippo like reflexes and out onto the landing, quietly listening for the criminals down stairs who were robbing our house of all of its glassware.
Clink, my ears heard it again, and this time, again, I was dead sure we were being robbed of all of our finest glasses and our used mini Nutella glasses. So boom, I switched on the stairways lights….and the clinking stopped.
But my first man thought was, oh fucking hell, oh fucking hell, now what!?
What do I do, we are being robbed of all of our preciously cheap glasses, why would anyone do this to us….why!?
And then a clink again….
No way, are they taunting me!?
I look over to the cat who has come to join me at the top of the stairs and I notice some string in his mouth……is he going to creep downstairs and sneakily strangle them for me!?
Clink again! But this time it’s closer…..
Are they moving about!?
What the actual fuck is going on!?
And then it hitse, not literally, as I would have gone down the stairs, into the robbers den!
No, it’s the fucking cat!
At the end of the piece of string, that’s obviously not for strangling anyone, is a small, tiny, fucking plastic yo-yo, Magoo had in a Christmas cracker, either last year or years gone by…….!
Turns out the cat had found it, and decided at stupid o’clock to start practising his skills.
The clinking sound wasn’t that our finest cheap glassware being liberated from our house, but the cat, trying to eat the yo-yos string, this making the yo-yo itself bounce around and hit anything and everything!
Clink……there it was again…..as the cat disappeared into the depths of Magoos’s room. A 30 second struggle to find the cat, get the yo-yo and string off of him, and into a box so the fucker can’t get at it again, and then I was making my way back to bed.
Thing was, after such a high octane situation for 5 mins, I was now wide awake.
I started to watch a film in bed thinking I would fall asleep, only to find myself engrossed in it. 4 am, and I decided to try and sleep.
Next thing I knew, it was time to whack the alarms silent.
Thebeanspoonerswife and Magoo, up, washed, dressed and fed (I hope ), I’m assuming as I was dead to the world…..
Magoo whacked me on the forehead to wake me up, so he could say bye before thebeanspoonerswife said her goodbyes as well.
Off they both went, one to work, one to the Orwellian-esq prison for the day.
I fell back to sleep as the front door banged shut.
When I was finally awake, I honestly felt like I had been out with Oliver Read for the previous night. Bear, sore, head.
So I’m washed, dressed and finding myself talking to Bruce, and what we will be doing today. After getting his morning biscuit off of me, it looks like Bruce is off to call his union rep, as he’s on strike and gone to sit in his hidey hole under the side table.
Can’t blame him.
I catch up on laundry and kitchen drying up, to start the mammoth task of finally putting the completed and dry lounge back together.
Again, wires, oh so many wires, why!
Why do we have so many things, that need to all be plugged in together, like a network of the fucking national grid?!
Half way through, thebeanspoonerswife calls…..I didn’t even realise that was the time. Time flies when your having fun, or can’t see a clock.
We chat about what we’ve been up to in our respective days so far. She had loads of work on, I in the other hand have been dealing with multicoloured wires. Oh how are days are different!
Goodbyes said, I set about finishing off what I started last week. After another hour of messing about and re jiggling things, the lounge is finally back in order. Well, I hoped it was.
The remainder of the afternoon is spent finishing off odd jobs and laundry.
Thebeanspoonerswife calls as she finishes work to remind me I am requested, once again, to go with her to collect Magoo from his daily prison grind.
Literally 30 mins later she calls to say the road into our village is closed. She has no idea why, so she’s had to quickly time around and go the extra long, awkward way to collect Magoo on her own.
They call as they are driving home to natter a little and tell me we need to pop to go and get some bits from the supermarket, and they will come and get me.
They are home, we are out of the door!
Once at the supermarket we wander around aimlessly trying to find what the hell we are looking for, only to not find what we are looking for, but still do some food shopping.
Magoo was overly helpful shopping tonight, running around, grabbing bits and bobs that we actually needed, so he wandered off with thebeanspoonerswife and got himself a cake, and a little toys thingy that he collects.
As soon as we get home, we make sure everything is ready for tomorrow, and sort dinner out.
Magoo vanishes to get his pyjamas on, and then dinner is eaten.
After dinner we sit and catch up on some TV, while Magoo disappears upstairs to watch his iPad while sitting on his bed.
Tonight was the last episode of the murder mystery programme we all watch, so we decided Magoo could have a later night and stop up and watch it with us, instead of watching it the following day.
As soon as that was over, we all headed off to bed.
Friday was looming pretty quick and we have an afternoon performance at the Orwellian-esq prison, of last half terms wing project!
Should be fun. I haven’t seen some people since the supposedly horrendous and henious posts that got complained about and semi censored the other week!
Wish me luck! Or them, depending on who’s side you’re on.